99 Secrets
by arrowsandroses
Summary: Kakashi Hatake: Konoha's greatest Jounin master, as well as best listener!  When the members of the Naruto world find themselves battling stress, unorthodox situations, or poor decisions, he's always there to get involuntary involved.
1. Introduction

**Author's Note: ** Welcome to my newest story! I read over the rules, and they didn't mention that drabbles weren't allowed (though you'll find that every instalment will be much longer than 100 words), so I've decided to begin this series! It's something that's played in the back of my mind for years now. Essentially, Kakashi finds himself caught up with secrets of the Naruto World! It'll be almost AU, as Kakashi will interact with characters who are not only dead, but to whom he wouldn't exactly run into at a Konoha market.

It'll be playful, entertaining, and something quick to read for all Naruto fans to enjoy!

Kakashi is the main character, naturally, as he has that aura which begs people to leave him out of their drama. Please leave your thoughts, commments, or even suggestions if you feel like it! And most of all, enjoy! :)

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><p>It was his quiet spot.<p>

Kakashi Hatake was lying across the metallic, orange shingles of a random rooftop, entirely content with his solitude. As a vagrant person, his reoccurring laps of idlism were not too peculiar and nowadays were left unnoticed. His current favourite past time had become lounging along whatever public domain was more comfortable and reading his most preferable desire-the Icha Icha romance series. It was much more relaxing than being strung into the dramas that the village citizens had to offer; he had enough of it with his own genin.

No, to rest in an undisturbed area offering nothing but subtle sanctuary was of much greater value.

"Hmm..." he wondered aloud, some few short moments later. He set his book across his folded lap, gazing at its bright cover. An illustration of a man and woman surrounded in rosey hearts blared in bright colours, and so he averted his gaze towards the mountain depicting the five heads of the Hokage's.

His exposed eye suddenly rolled upwards and he sighed. "I know you're there-show yourself."

He listened as his unknown companion groaned and slipped into view. The sun reflected off the smooth shingles and into his face; but he already knew who it was.

Why did he have to be bothered on his time off?

He sighed once more and layed back into the roof, as though it were some cushion. "What is it...?"


	2. Secret 1: Naruto

Naruto stared down at his jounin master with a sour expression. He crouched onto his knees so he no longer blocked the sun, and started picking at the hem of his forehead protector.

"Kakashi-sensei... I... I have a confession." His tone was quite nervous, even with his angry expression. Kakashi leaned up fully and stared at his pupil intensely, waiting for him to continue.

Naruto understood his silence.

"I... have always wanted to be Hokage. That's my DREAM! I grew up with the entire village hating me. I wanted- No, I still want to prove them wrong!" He inhaled deeply for a moment. "But sometimes... I feel... as though I have to be kept... sedated, just to live."

Kakashi swallowed, unsure of how to respond to that. It wasn't typical of Naruto to confess these sorts of things to him. He usually sought out Iruka, whom he had a closer relationship with. Kakashi cared for the boy, but he was caught off guard by Naruto's sudden… openness.

The young genin swallowed and shuffled his feet along the metal roof-top.

"Anyway," he mumbled, "I, uh, I kind of… did something… bad."

Relief swept along Kakashi as realization hit him: Naruto wasn't there for a serious discussion; he was in shit again.

"What is it this time, Naruto?"

"It wasn't really my fault! I was just walking by, honest! And I heard, uh, noises. They distracted me! I didn't… I didn't realize it was the girl's hot springs…"

_Of course you didn't, _Kakashi thought grimly.

"I… well, Ebisu caught me off guard! It's his fault the fence came down! Now all the village ladies think I'm a pervert! But it wasn't my fault! It wasn't!"

Kakashi inwardly groaned. Great. Somehow, this was going to reflect poorly on him. As the genin's master, he had some responsibility over him; although, if Naruto's parents were still around, it would be placed on them…

He sighed, "Naruto. Just help rebuild the fence. As you 'didn't mean it', I'm sure the women will understand your explanation."

Naruto grinned, a smile of relief broadened on his face. "So you believe me? YEAH! All right, I guess I can help. I'm a ninja of the village, after all! It won't be hard!"

He crouched down and leapt off the roof, heading in the direction of the hot springs. Kakashi watched him with his one eye, thinking complacently of what an idiot that child was. Casually, he reached down for his book and flipped it back to its page. It was much more satisfying than peeking on women and less of a threat to one's life. One day, Naruto would surely learn that.


	3. Secret 2: Rock Lee

The village market was in an uproar as the late morning settled into the afternoon. The streets were crammed with citizens and ninjas alike and Kakashi wasn't in the mood for the overcrowded atmosphere. It seemed as though everyone was shouting for a low price and trying to haggle their way out of paying even decent amounts. Plenty of his comrades were simply there as a form of crowd control, as the Hokage hated it when things got out of hand.

But Kakashi wasn't there to dawdle. His novices had demanded he teach them a new technique. Rather than waste a whole day when he didn't expect any of them to get it (he had intentionally chosen one that typically only jounin mastered), he decided he'd spend his afternoon musing over their frustrations instead and moved the training to a later time. However, as per usual, he was running late.

"Eh? Kakashi!"

Kakashi stilled in his tracks, a sense of foreboding looming over him. _Not him_, he thought.

"Ah, it is you, Kakashi. Of course I recognized you from the back. Who could forget that unkempt hair and plain taste in wardrobe?" Gai had reached him with ease and snuggly wrapped his arm around the fellow jounin's shoulders. "You know, you won't win many ladies with that appearance! I would know… I have so much difficulty getting them off of me!"

"Hmm. That's nice."

"Say, Kakashi, what are you doing in the market at this hour? Shouldn't you be with your little genin? I have mine here helping keep the streets clear. But it's actually not loud enough to include your little bunch…"

"We have training to do in the forest," Kakashi responded with little interest. He had never cared for Gai's one-sided rivalry, whether it entailed skill, matches, genin or women.

"Training, eh? Well, they'll definitely require plenty of that!" Gai laughed as though his comments were the epitome of hilarity and he waved Kakashi off as he crept away, still laughing. The jounin master continued on his path when he was stilled, once again, by the striking resemblance of his old friend.

"…Lee. "

"Hello, Kakashi-sensei!" Lee bowed deeply before straightening his back. "I have something I must confess!"

Kakashi inwardly groaned and sunk forward. "And you're telling me because…?"

"It's about…" His voice lowered. "It's about Gai-sensei. I did something bad."

Kakashi quirked his eyebrow in interest but didn't say a word. Gai took that as a sign to continue.

"I borrowed Gai-sensei's, er, magazines. And I've accidentally damaged them, so I can't return them…"

Kakashi's eyes widened and he straightened his back. "What do I-?"

"You are always walking around reading your dirty book! I thought perhaps you could help me replace them! I can give you money!"

Kakashi stood rigid in shock. He had a 13-year-old minor asking him to purchase porn magazines to replace the one he stole from his sensei.

"…Lee, I can't help you right now. I suggest… you talk with Gai. And don't do that again. Ever again. And never mention it to me again. _Ever._"

Lee frowned. "But Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi wasted no time as he jumped from the street and onto the nearest roof, taking off without another glance back at the genin.


End file.
